A wonderful adventure
And I remembered. I remembered wide eyed, mislead, broken little me making plans to go to college and do this and go here. Then little me met a guy named Jesus on a Saturday night and everything changed, and I timidly approached Him and said "What do you want me to do with my life?" And He directed me somewhere that seemed like it was just a slight change in plans and ended up changing everything.
I remembered the times I said I'd be in New York until I was married. How I said this was the degree I wanted. Then saying, no, I'm never going back to school. I remember lying through my teeth and saying, "This is what I want to be when I grow up" when the girl I babysat asked me what my dreams were. I remembered burying deep all the things I thought I could do and settling for something that was comfortable.
I remembered knowing, sitting there in the little chapel, that it wasn't what I wanted, but it was what God wanted. And I would ask a million times over "What am I going to do?" and the Lord just kept saying "Trust me, trust." And I wanted to run and keep running and He kept tugging me where I needed to go.
I remembered saying "If it's Your will" as the entrance hymn started.
Every plan I've made, the Lord has changed, changed and transformed and I look back and can't believe the things I used to want, the things I thought would make me happy. The freedom that comes each time with saying yes to the Lord and His plan for me.
And yet, before each big decision, I was afraid. You would think I'd have learned.
I don't know where I was going with this. I think I need to remind myself some times that God's plans are the best plan, even when I am afraid.
And some days, I'm pretty afraid.