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A constant state

It seems - these days - that life continues to be ever in a state of upheaval. The days, they come crashing onto the shore with the ins and outs of a tide, sometimes rising, sometimes falling. These days, they are the ones I wish to run from, yet I find myself trapped in the middle of the rise and fall of the tide, frantically trying to keep my head above water.

This reality loses its poetic sound when you see the way my room looks, how the dishes pile up, how my final is in two days and I haven't started studying.

I wonder to myself - has my life ever felt settled? I think it did - for a moment - but the memory of it feels so distant, like a deep grime covers the thought of it and I try to wipe it away, but I don't know what that feels like anymore. I don't know. When people say "Don't settle!" I wonder if they've felt this feeling of uncertainty and the deep desire to settle, anywhere.

I look to the shore - as I am tossed about - and I wish to be there…

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