A wonderful adventure

I was listening to a podcast. They were talking about how, as St. John Paul the Great put it, "Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure". One of the hosts said something to the effect of "I've made tons of plans before and all of them were boring compared to what God had for me."

And I remembered. I remembered wide eyed, mislead, broken little me making plans to go to college and do this and go here. Then little me met a guy named Jesus on a Saturday night and everything changed, and I timidly approached Him and said "What do you want me to do with my life?" And He directed me somewhere that seemed like it was just a slight change in plans and ended up changing everything.

I remembered the times I said I'd be in New York until I was married. How I said this was the degree I wanted. Then saying, no, I'm never going back to school. I remember lying through my teeth and saying, "This is what I want to be when I grow up" when the girl I babysat asked me what my dreams were. I remembered burying deep all the things I thought I could do and settling for something that was comfortable.

I remembered knowing, sitting there in the little chapel, that it wasn't what I wanted, but it was what God wanted. And I would ask a million times over "What am I going to do?" and the Lord just kept saying "Trust me, trust." And I wanted to run and keep running and He kept tugging me where I needed to go.

I remembered saying "If it's Your will" as the entrance hymn started.

Every plan I've made, the Lord has changed, changed and transformed and I look back and can't believe the things I used to want, the things I thought would make me happy. The freedom that comes each time with saying yes to the Lord and His plan for me.

And yet, before each big decision, I was afraid. You would think I'd have learned.

I don't know where I was going with this. I think I need to remind myself some times that God's plans are the best plan, even when I am afraid.

And some days, I'm pretty afraid.