In the middle

I am in the middle of a paper for my Moral Theology class. Writing usually takes a bit of a warm up.

I was speaking to my friend on the phone and she said "I feel as those God doesn't want me to take classes this summer."

And in my heart, I heard "Hey, He wants that for you too."

Then I started with "but my plan, my plan, my plan."

My plans are never really any good anyhow, let's be honest.

But every time I went to register for classes this summer, I felt anxiety, stress, unease. I couldn't figure out what to take, how many classes. At one point I registered for two classes.

I have since dropped those classes. Then I began to think of all the possibilities of a free summer. And I asked God "Well, are you sure you don't want me to take at least ONE class? Like, I still have so many left to take to finish my degree! Don't you want me to finish this? So I can work for your glory?"

And the Lord, in His gentle way, showed me that He'd rather I had a little time to be human, instead of a machine. That His view of me is not a worker, but a lover.

And I started with "but my plan, my plan, my plan." And the priest at mass that day spoke words of trust in the Lord. And I dropped the classes and texted my friend.

So. I've got this paper for Moral Theology. Then some quizzes, some finals, and one more paper. Then a free summer to be loved..


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